Notes on chapter 2 Does it Matter from Welcoming the Unwelcome by Pema Chödrön.

Do you ever find that you react to a situation or get frustrated and would like to behave differently? Over time we develop habits and ways of thinking that can be counter-productive and leave us feeling dissatisfied.

Chapter 2 discusses the value of always considering the question ‘Does it matter’ when a situation is challenging or upsetting.

A primary objective of the Buddha is that everyone should lead a virtuous life. When we react do we have a negative impact on those around us? Does our reaction also have a negative effect on ourselves? Carrying anger or frustration can certainly be negative for the person reacting.

How we behave today has an impact on our future lives. Learning to accept and observe instead of reacting helps us lead a more virtuous life in future. This also helps us reduce suffering, both for ourselves and for others.

The Tibetan word ‘payu’ meaning “discernment”, “heedfulness”, “awareness”, “attentiveness” reflects how we should prepare and act in difficult situations.

By practicing ‘payu’ we can become better at not automatically reacting and over time change habits that are not helpful to how we want to be.

References

Chödrön, Pema. Welcoming the Unwelcome. Shambhala Publications, Inc, 2019.